Hello and happy Wednesday! Yesterday was the most insanely gorgeous day. If I didn’t own a calendar I never would have guessed it was an early February day, as the sun shone brightly, warming up to a comfortable 70 degrees with a slight breeze.
Have you seen that meme that says I never believed seasonal depression was real until that first pretty day hit and I feel like I popped a molly? Now, I’ve never “popped a molly” or really even know what exact drug that is referring to, but I can tell you the levity and optimism that pumped through my veins yesterday was a high.
First I got to enjoy coffee with mom and my Aunt Pat. My Aunt Pat is my dad’s sister and she doesn’t live nearby so we don’t get to see her very often. She came to visit my mom for a week and they came up for a night. What a treat. Aunt Pat is sharp as a whip, a brilliant bridge player, and many of her mannerisms remind me of my Grandma Betty (her mom). The whole visit was so nice and left me feeling truly happy. Family is the best.
They took off in the morning and the girls and I did our school work before taking off to Hailey’s piano lesson. While she learned, I walked Finley through the Furman campus. I reveled in the sunshine and Finley reveled in the extra scratches and coos from young college kids excited to see a dog. The campus was bustling and full of life.
David and I exercised in the afternoon with the doors and windows wide open. The kids ran out to play with friends in the woods. I had a spring inspired dinner planned (Hailey’s request, Cobb salads) which I made with the windows ajar. We finished off this wonderful day with Kaitlyn’s first ever softball practice, which she left completely lit up with the joy of her new beloved sport.
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It was a really great day.
Over this past year I’ve given a lot of thought to joy and contentment. Making a big move is really hard in a lot of ways, no matter the catalyst. Being that ours was self motivated brought many of its own challenges in the form of worry or doubt. Nothing forced us into this; were we making the right choice? It’s a challenge, but a worthy one, to spend time discovering our priorities and then steering our lives in a direction that matches them.
I won’t cheapen how difficult this can be, as there are so many factors to consider when making big, life altering decisions. David and I continue to wrestle with some choices that feel scary to consider, but I think this past year has proven to me that we do hold real power in our own lives. If we truly yearn for something different that our current reality, and it’s important enough to us, then we can and should make real moves toward it and trust God in the process.
My source of joy in this season of my life looks different than in other seasons, as it naturally should I suppose. I’m finding contentment in quieter places. Some things bringing me deep satisfaction these days are outdoor hikes, doing school and life side by side with my growing girls who still certainly need adult guidance but are quickly and marvelously turning into the most incredible little people full of life and wonder, conversations with David on life, goals, and time and how best to spend them, learning new things that make me a little nervous like gardens and chickens, quiet mornings with Finley snuggled up at my side, and connecting with community and forging friendships rooted in the truth of each person showing up as they are with no pretense.
Maybe it’s age or maybe it’s growth, but I feel I am seeking and settling into a calmer version of happiness. Perhaps contentment? I’m not seeking thrills or highs, but noticing the absolute beauty in the ordinary moments. And I might even be starting to understand how people like birdwatching. Ha. But truly. Maybe birdwatching is considered a grandma habit because it highlights that you’ve gotten to a stage in life where you realize how sweet it is to slow down a bit and simply enjoy the wonderment of the things that surround us.
In my fifth decade of life I can more easily see the seasons of life and the joy of leaning into each one while we’re in it. I don’t long to be a college kid again but smile when I think back with gratitude that I got to live that chapter in all it’s excitement of stepping into what feels like complete independence. I don’t long to be a new mom to a baby and toddler again (most days… some days I recall only the highlights of that season and not the challenges and absolutely dream to spend a day in that reality again) but am in awe that I got to live that life for a chapter.
My mind now is focused in on this season. How can God use me to best show up in this season as a young 40-something wife and mom to a teen and a tween. Who can I positively impact and how, so that a decade from now I look back with satisfaction on how I showed up for myself and the people I love in this season?
Anyway… that’s what been occupying my mind. Finding my peace, protecting it, leaning into growth and questioning how best to be a light for others… while also driving kids to practices, figuring out what’s for dinner, and getting into bed by 9:30 so I’m not a grump the next day 😉
And with that, it’s time to get off the couch and and get moving. I hope your day today is a lovely one; thanks for stopping by <3